reorientation

amazingly, when i loose her love, i wasnt only lose a smart and beautiful girl whom smile very brightly into my life... i also lose my orientation. Put her as my center of galaxy asking me a huge consequences, out of orbit... and in a very quick times, i fly... no, i floating without direction, even i smile alot.

i'm 29 and i'm not succesful yet... i'm responsible for my family... and i have so many dreams. i stop floating and decide to landing, a painful one. it's make me hurt but also wake up... then i wrote a plan.

it's not a new sun, it's a journey to comeback... somehow, it's looks like a diversion.

* i need to start my own business immediately and it begin with learn more.

* i will scheduling my sport activity... and commit to that plan.

* i choose to be busy with anything positive... and hopely those things can make me very sleepy when night comes. i was an ammateur photographer, i played hockey and futsal, i read books etc

* i choose to make a new blog... which less romantic personal experience and bulshit

convincingly, all of that plan lead me to buy a new laptop. At least, the spec has to core 2 duo, because i need it for my photoshop and premiere workshop... it should be compatible with my ipod (nike-ipod also), it should be compact and it has to a newest generation therefore i shouldnt need to wory that it will be obsolete in a few years ahead...

and after a short hunting, the candidates shrink to these 3 laptops:

- sony vaio, VPC CW 25FG, core i3, 3Gb DDR3, 14" wide, windows 7 home
- toshiba, L510 P4017B, core i3, 2Gb DDR3, 14" wide, windows 7 home
- mac book pro, Core2 Duo, 2Gb DDR3, 13.3" wide,

hmmmm..... i need to wait until March or April for one of these :)

being single

being single giving you some privilage... to see everyone, to know everything, to explore more, to be naughty, to be free.
it should be fun...

...but when you reach (almost) 30, fun is not enough any more.

i'm not trying to say that i'm not happy. i do and i mean it. What i feel is a paradox. In one side i feel oke but at the other side i feel... incomplete. everything suddenly happen and, truly, it make my life shaking, become unsteady.

my journey are a book fills with melodramatic situation and many stupidity. i always smile when i read that book but inside i feel hurt. many chapters skinning my mistakes and immature actions. luckily, i found that it was a step that i should take to have proper wisdom.

to the past, thank you, you make me stronger.