reorientation

amazingly, when i loose her love, i wasnt only lose a smart and beautiful girl whom smile very brightly into my life... i also lose my orientation. Put her as my center of galaxy asking me a huge consequences, out of orbit... and in a very quick times, i fly... no, i floating without direction, even i smile alot.

i'm 29 and i'm not succesful yet... i'm responsible for my family... and i have so many dreams. i stop floating and decide to landing, a painful one. it's make me hurt but also wake up... then i wrote a plan.

it's not a new sun, it's a journey to comeback... somehow, it's looks like a diversion.

* i need to start my own business immediately and it begin with learn more.

* i will scheduling my sport activity... and commit to that plan.

* i choose to be busy with anything positive... and hopely those things can make me very sleepy when night comes. i was an ammateur photographer, i played hockey and futsal, i read books etc

* i choose to make a new blog... which less romantic personal experience and bulshit

convincingly, all of that plan lead me to buy a new laptop. At least, the spec has to core 2 duo, because i need it for my photoshop and premiere workshop... it should be compatible with my ipod (nike-ipod also), it should be compact and it has to a newest generation therefore i shouldnt need to wory that it will be obsolete in a few years ahead...

and after a short hunting, the candidates shrink to these 3 laptops:

- sony vaio, VPC CW 25FG, core i3, 3Gb DDR3, 14" wide, windows 7 home
- toshiba, L510 P4017B, core i3, 2Gb DDR3, 14" wide, windows 7 home
- mac book pro, Core2 Duo, 2Gb DDR3, 13.3" wide,

hmmmm..... i need to wait until March or April for one of these :)

being single

being single giving you some privilage... to see everyone, to know everything, to explore more, to be naughty, to be free.
it should be fun...

...but when you reach (almost) 30, fun is not enough any more.

i'm not trying to say that i'm not happy. i do and i mean it. What i feel is a paradox. In one side i feel oke but at the other side i feel... incomplete. everything suddenly happen and, truly, it make my life shaking, become unsteady.

my journey are a book fills with melodramatic situation and many stupidity. i always smile when i read that book but inside i feel hurt. many chapters skinning my mistakes and immature actions. luckily, i found that it was a step that i should take to have proper wisdom.

to the past, thank you, you make me stronger.

meraih mimpi (jrocks)

very inspiring and give my dead mind some refreshment...
U know, in this situation, find our motivation and spirit back is very important
a good song is a good beginning...
cant wait to have it on my ipod

---------------------------------------

mari berlari meraih mimpi
menggapai langit yang tinggi
jalani hari dengan berani
tegaskan suara hati

kuatkan diri dan janganlah kau ragu
tak kan ada yang hentikan langkahmu

ya..ya..kita kan terus berlari
ya..ya..tak kan berhenti di sini
ya..ya..larilah meraih mimpi
ya..ya..hingga nafas tlah berhenti

ku akan bertahan
hadapi rintangan
perlahan-lahan dan menang
jalani hari dengan berani
tegaskan suara hati

be prepared for any change

a friend of mine are dizzy now. new structure in our department cornered him defenseless... many people depends their destiny to others by "licking" and doing too much politics. They spent most of time being a "yess man" without sharpening their knowledge and skill. It is a way but it isn't a long term one.

One thing i learn is we can always choose our side but the best side is be friendly to everyone. nothing immortal so always be prepared for any change...

resolution 2010

i never feel this blog as public media because no one read this blog except me... and sometime echi, so i decide to explore it as a journal, to reminds me about what i experience. this time, let take a while to see these photos:

(my desk when i was mt at domestic sales section)

(my desk when i was mt at dealer development section)

(my desk today)

can you see the difference? not too much? that's it.

since a year ago, i feel that my life is stuck somewhere... i do happy, i experienced many things that very wonderful but somehow i feel that i'm not progressive enough to reach my dream. before contamined with this office politics and busy schedule, i was... hmm... more than today.

so this is my 2010 resolution.

1. live healthy
basically it needs 4 things: sport regularly, eat responsibly, kick out the unnecessary stress and keep our heart peaceful. At least, sport twice a week. I plan to do iftness again and play basket or golf regularly... Eat responsibly is more challenging, hehehe...

2. saving
3. start a business

(to be continued)

thanks bro

Karena suatu hal, saya memutuskan untuk langsung pergi ke Bandung malam itu. pesawat dari Semarang delay 15 menit, terbang dalam cuaca tidak bersahabat dan macet di semanggi membuat saya sampai di kartika chandra pukul 19.50, sepuluh menit setelah mobil ke bandung berangkat. travel lain tidak ada yang punya keberangkatan ke bandung pada malam minggu, itu di luar trend kaum comutter yang biasanya keluar dari jakarta pada kamis dan jumat, aaaargh... dan setelah menarik nafas panjang saya putuskan untuk menunggu keberangkatan selanjutnya, 21.45 (jrek nong...)

Malam itu saya baru sampai dari semarang, tidak terlalu letih sih tapi ngantuknya itu bukan main. Agenda di semarang bener-bener padat, malem ajah masih meeting... tapi saya belum mau makan, antara males bergerak dengan sudah keganjel sama snack dari Garuda. Estimasi sampai di Bdg jam 12 malam jadi saya telp adik, ngasih tau kalo kakaknya jadi pulang... eh dia malah bersedia jemput, pake motor pula.

Ternyata estimasinya gak meleset, 00.01 sampai di Oncom Raos dan beberapa menit kemudian si adik jemput pake Mijojojo-nya Nissa. Bandung dingin bgt karena baru saja diguyur hujan, jaket saya terasa gak berarti... karena pengen buru-buru pulang ke rumah yang lagi kosong (karena ortu lagi di Tuban) kami beli nasgor deket rumah... baru bisa tidur jam 2 lewat...

Siangnya, bandung kembali hujan tapi kata mundur seperti mengkhianati tujuan saya datang ke bandung. Dianter si adik ke depan kompleks, menerobos hujan, naek angkot, kena macet dikit di IP dan kebun binatang... saya sampe di kampus dengan perasaan takjub, dia belum berubah. Kampus ini masih penuh kharisma... tampak angkuh di beberapa bagiannya tapi saya selalu mencintainya.

Setelah mampir di TVST bertemu qboy (yang laen lagi gak ada... hiks...) saya bergegas menuntaskan misi dengan penuh semangat. Waktu itu hujan sudah berhenti, kampus terasa syahdu dan puluhan orang tampak sudah lalu lalang di mana-mana, padahal itu hari Minggu.

Sayang sekali, tujuan saya tidak tercapai... Dengan lesu saya loncat ke angkot, bergegas kembali ke Kopo karena 2 jam lagi sudah janjian dengan si pong2 untuk kembali ke JKT. 90 menit yang hening... dan begitu sampai rumah saya baru sadar kalo ternyata perut saya belum diisi, hahahaha... parah amat yah sampe lupa makan. Kebetulan sebelah rumah ada tukang bakso yang uenaaak banget, terselamatkanlah jadwal dan perut saya...

setelah maghrib saya merenung sejenak, si adik kebetulan ngeliat jadi tanya... aah kebetulan, sekalian ajah saya mintai tolong buat bantuin ngurusin uncomplished mission :)

Saat itu, dalam hati, saya mengucap hamdalah...

thanks yah bro.

i'm a nasionalist. mostly, when something bad happens i look for positive side. it make me amused and also avoid me from unnecessary sadness... but yesterday, my heart was hurt and i became "not me".

yesterday, benny dolo's team faced Oman to keep the chance for asian cup appearence alive. actually there was only a small oportunity but it still worthed to fighting for. moreover, indonesia played in front of fourty thousand supporters whom came with great spirit to watch their beloved team, their beloved country... and I with my friends sit at VVIP seat with the same spirit.

and what we saw was dreadfully jokes! after a consolation goal from boaz, BP cs play like have no spirit. loosing ball easily, running everywheres without purpose and keep trying to crossing ball despite the towering oman's defender winning every chance... i keep watching the games just to satisfied my ego which said that the war is not over yet, bah...

at the end, when the referee ready to blow the whistle, a supporter came to the field... he crossed the field, dribbling the ball and try to score to Oman's goal. At that time i do realy wish that he success... but he failed and some late responsed police acted like a hero, henry mulyadi caught.

again, our national team failed... and this time my pride as a nationalist hurt.

who knows woman

i think we'll have a same conclusion, no one will knows woman better than herself. unfortunately, it lead to a misfortune for us, man. being a couple with that fact is never been easy...

some couple succeed and when i asked the tips, the answer always the same... the 1st step and also the most important step is both parties are accept the fact that they are different. venus and mars, etc etc... but believe me, it's not as easy as the sound. to be like that a man need a passion and also a patience. a true passion will lead a man not to give up... to try again and again... to be brave to admit that he was wrong... to learn with curiosity and love... to accept without hesitation.

lets not discuss about the patience thing... it's realy not my thing :)

to end the discussion let me tell you one of two things that i agree with my friend, pong2, yesterday:
- shut your mouth when you sad, confused, mad or else... just be a good listener even she'll say something awful, something that she'll regret for a long time.. a man can be more forgiving...

ps.
i forget the second one, hiks

new structure

it's been a common secreat that my division will have a new structure. My big boss will handle another department then our section will supervise by the japanese and one of key person in sales team will resign, hmmm... i dont know it is a good or bad news. but this company has survived from many changes. It's a good sign, isn't it?

actually i write this because of my worry about the change. I'm not afraid of change. moreover i believe that we need some change... but i realy dont know where this change going to lead. the situation will ask many changes in sales team structure and somehow i have to believe that this sudden change will injure the team spirit.

too many changes is not good, that's the fact. a learning curve has to achieve in order to make a stability become effective. i'm not trying to say that the new structure is lack of experience... it just a pity that we have to begin a new curve (again).

ps.
will i go for new post? i dont care. :p

product planning vs product preparation

sebagai distributor tunggal sekaligus produsen, sudah selayaknya ATPM memiliki sebuah fungsi yang disebut product planning. Fungsi ini, pada umumnya, melakukan research mengenai kebutuhan konsumen, mengukur acceptance existing products, mempersiapkan produk baru dsb... namun yang paling esensial adalah memperjuangkan adanya keselarasan antara needs dan supply.

Di banyak tempat, product planning diberikan kesempatan yang luas dengan akses yang istimewa. Tentu saja harus demikian karena wawasan fungsi ini harus lebih luas dari sekedar promotion atau penjualan. Pada dasarnya, ia mewakili consumen needs... and consumen dream.

Di sebagian yang lain, product planning ini seperti menjadi anak tiri. fungsinya dikebiri sedemikian sehingga yang ia lakukan hanya sekedar mempersiapkan produk baru yang sudah "given", mencari tahu apa saja kelebihan produk tersebut dan menyampaikannya kepada bagian promotion untuk dapat dikemas dalam promotion program. Beberapa yang kreatif tidak berputus asa dan mendedikasikan dirinya juga kepada lahirnya produk-produk limited... yang kadang kala justru menimbulkan masalah lain di kemudian hari. Akhirnya, mereka tidak lebih dari tim "product preparation"...

Ketika hal tersebut terjadi dan penjualan tidak kunjung membaik, future picture-nya seolah menjadi sangat jelas... perusahaan kehilangan kemampuan kompetitifnya karena bagaimanapun PRODUCT adalah bagian pertama yang memegang peranan penting dalam marketing mix.

...salut buat perusahaan yang membuka mata terhadap hal ini, yang belum? hiks... sama dong.

Salesman oh Salesman...

Malam tadi, sewaktu menunggu dua sahabat, di Pelataran Senayan City saya duduk tidak jauh dari beberapa salesman Hyundai yang sedang melepas lelah. Mereka bercengkrama sambil sesekali melepas tawa. Tidak ketinggalan, rokok dinyalakan sebagai pelengkap suasana...

...tidak berapa lama, beberapa orang bule, entah turis atau tidak muncul dengan langkah2 mantap. Tidak tergesa-gesa tapi jelas tidak sekali tidak bisa dibilang jalan perlahan. tiba-tiba salah satu salesman berteriak, mengangkat tangan dan menyapa sekenanya... "haaai, how are you mister?"

tidak seperti rekan-rekannya yang hanya sekedar melirik dan tersenyum, salah seorang bule itu menengok dan menjawab "fine, thank you"... lantas para salesman ini dengan serta merta, dalam tingkat kekompakan yang luar biasa, tertawa. Mereka meledek dan mengata-ngatai bule-bule tersebut, lantas mulai kembali bercanda dan berkeluh kesah...

...di sekitarnya ada puluhan orang yang silih berganti lalu lalang memandang heran... dan sebagian iba... dan sebagian lain jijik.

kasihan Hyundai.

ps. ada tanda larangan merokok di pelataran tersebut

s'pore experience

the most accurate words to describe my days at s'pore is "walking around". taxi is too expensive, and i late to realized that i need to have a link card to access bus and MRT.... but the truly reason is the fact that i went to s'pore not be a tourist but to visit my sweetheart echi... so i didn't bring much money ^^

just like others, i should say that s'pore is well designed city... ups country. :)
and i captured 2 things that makes me surprise...

1.
they have so many museums. i visited one of them... art museum.
It's an old building but they renovate it smoothly... it's modern and artistic
they put many things there, their history, generation to generation...
they also organized some art exhibition and class.
they put some statue outside.... and it was amaze me...

2.
they create many parks everywhere...
It's well cared and it's very comfortable to be there

That was a small thing but i do believe that somehow it make me believe that if they care enough to those things... they must be very confidence about other things... they must be work very hard...

i enjoy my lovely moments with echi that time... and going home with a new spirit...

just realize (again)

The most important of being a family member is supporting each other. Mine always try to do it. My mother is very supportive. She always try to use "agamis" approach. My father prefer a more logical one. My brother use another way but he try do the best. Echi... her smile only can make everything healed... and that combo makes me think that i'm not alone. stronger...





Actually, i read a book which make me realize that to become very successfull person, an outlier, we need more than genius brain, hard work and tremendous skill. we need opportunities. we need supports... so now, i just need to catch my opportunity.

thanks all... happy iedul fitri 1430 H.

Thanks, but no, thanks

Are U dare to say NO?

kalau sama hal-hal yang gak kita sukai sih gampang, apalagi yang sudah jelas-jelas merugikan kita...
Bagaimana dengan hal-hal yang enak, halal namun tidak boleh kita nikmati?

hmmm... mungkin pertanyaan selanjutnya adalah, emang ada yang kek begitu?

hihihi, tulisan ini sengaja diawali dengan banyak pertanyaan, karena kurang lebih menggambarkan suasana hati penulisnya (ceileeeh...)

enak, halal tapi gak boleh dinikmati... buat gw saat ini: ada

i'll make an analogy, an extreme one.
if a beer company asked U to join with double (or triple) salary and ur values doesn't allow U to drink alcohol, what would U do?

If U take it, U will betray ur heart voices, U cant enjoy ur job and at the end U'll find urself unhappy... what do U expect from that kind of job?

Unfortunately, ur current job doesnt give U highest complacency...
U think it's not ur dream job and the environment is not supportive enough...

My friends said, it's all about courage. I said, it's all about values.
Changing anything has many reasons but if i do it, it must be not only for a better salay.

Sorry pren, that was a good offering but i have to decline that one... yeeeehaaaa :)

worry

Sometime i think i worry too much. mostly about the people i loved. I know it looks normal but in many occasion, this worry lead me to useless, time consuming and unconstructive behavior. My hart beats faster and i loose my focus. Unfortunately, i often do mistake when i loose my focus.

My mom fully understand it. She almost never tell me any bad news except urgent things which involved my family members. It very helpful but also dilemmatic. The way she managed that info makes me not uptodate enough and feels too behind. It makes me not supportive enough for my beloved ones. hmmm...

Since living at Jakarta, a litle far from my family and my lovely echi, i learn to control it. Not 100% successful yet but it shows some good progress. Bad news always come and i still worry too much... but i trying hard to keep focus.

Iaquinta

aaah tahpapa orang ini. setelah mencetak gol dengan tandukan yang keren, tiga menit kemudian iaquinta diusir wasit setelah menerima dua kartu kuning. satu kartu ia terima setelah melakukan selebrasi buka baju stelah mencetak gol, satu lagi karena melakukan tekel keras kepada pemain catania. kesamaan keduanya adalah sesungguhnya keduanya bener-bener gak perlu dia lakukan.

Buka baju? hooo come on... selebrasi yang dia lakukan jelas terlalu berlebihan mengingat bahwa dia sendiri tahu apa yang akan menjadi konsekuensinya. tekelnya juga sangat gak perlu karena potenza (klo gak salah) tidak berada pada posisi yang membahayakan dan banyak pemain lain yang melapis pertahanan di belakang iaquinta. terlepas dari pengamatan saya yang melihat bahwa tekelnya sebenernya sangat tidak layak diganjar kartu kuning kedua, apa yang dilakukan iaquinta benar-benar tidak bertanggung jawab.

Dari sini kita bisa belajar bahwa setiap anggota tim memiliki tanggung jawab daripada sekedar mencetak gol atau bermain baik. untuk mencapai kemenangan ada variabel lain yang harus diperjuangkan: sportivitas lah, semangat lah, kerja sama lah, dan sebagainya. intinya ketika kita menyadari bahwa keberhasilan merupakan sesuatu yang dicapai bersama maka sudah semestinya kita mempelajari apa-apa saja yang perlu kita lakukan demi menjaga suasana kerjasama tersebut selalau berjalan baik... dan setelah paham lalu berkomitmen untuk melaksanakannya sepenuh hati.

Pada iaquinta, saya berterima kasih: atas satu gol cantiknya dan atas kebodohannya yang membuat saya akan mengingat terus pelajaran ini. hidup JUVE.

suntuk vs ngemil

siang ini suntukkkkk bgt
padahal udah makan enak
udah menang pula maen ps lawan si putra
... mungkin masuk angin, mungkin!
ah ntah papa

waktu suntuk semakin melanda
mata mulai merapat tak berdaya
aku mulai menyerah..
.. tiba2 sebuah apel mendarat di meja

hweee... apel pinky yang tampak renyah
masih segar dan dingin pula
di kejauhan si pontek ngasih kode mendekat
dan ternyata satu box besar anggur terbuka

hweee...
ilang deh suntuknya
karena mulut dipaksa bekerja

*semoga hikmahnya bukan harus ngemil terus sambil kerja, hehehe

I love U

untuk seseorang yang memandangku sebagai pangerannya,
mencintai dengan tulus dan mengukir senyum dengan begitu
indah.

Aku bersyukur atas cinta yang menegarkan hatiku; juga atas
kasih sayang yang menopang jalan tertatihku...

Aku menunduk, membukakan hatiku, memelas kepada Tuhan untuk
diberikan kesempatan membangun biduk ini sampai lautan
akhirat kelak.

Sayang, terima kasih.

... untuk setia

bekerja, untuk perusahaan manapun, selalu dituntut untuk menghasilkan yang terbaik bagi perusahaan... selama mungkin... dan untuk mencapai tujuan itu perusahaan menawarkan gaji, insentif, fasilitas2, memberikan pelatihan dsb

bekerja, untuk perusahaan manapun, selalu ditujukan untuk mendapatkan pendapatan yang layak, lingkungan kerja yang nyaman, pengembangan diri yang memadai, kepuasan bathin dsb mengikuti kebutuhan dari si pekerja

keduanya, perusahaan dan pekerja, punya hak... dan kewajiban. ini yang akan menjaga kedua perbedaan tadi tetap berjalan pada koridor yang semestinya, dengan tingkat toleransi yang telah disepakati. lantas, saat kebutuhan pekerja tidak lagi terpenuhi di perusahaan, adakah ia disebut tidak setia? kurang bersyukur? kutu loncat? terserah...

Yang penting, tetaplah setia kepada tujuan akhir kita... u always can adjust the way to reach it.

wisuda

dua kali masuk sabuga memberi saya pemahaman bahwa rasa khidmat dan penuh syukur bukan datang dari ketertiban acara dan kemegahan gedung wisuda. Ia hadir dari dalam lubuk hati sebagai sebuah pilihan...

Entah dialami semua orang atau tidak, selalu ada saja yang membuat kita jengkel saat wisuda. Gak dapet tempat parkir, ketinggalan sesuatu, ortu yang salah memahami jadwal, agenda wisuda yang bikin ngantuk, nunggu giliran foto dan sebagainya. akhirnyasemua kembali kepada diri kita sendiri. merasa kesal atau tetap tegar menikmati apapun yang terjadi. menentukan cuaca diri kita sendiri.

Alhamdulillah, berbeda dengan wisuda sebelumnya, saya bener2 dapat mensyukuri dan menikmati semuanya. tampaknya saya memang diberikan kesempatan kedua. Terima kasih semuanya.