reorientation

amazingly, when i loose her love, i wasnt only lose a smart and beautiful girl whom smile very brightly into my life... i also lose my orientation. Put her as my center of galaxy asking me a huge consequences, out of orbit... and in a very quick times, i fly... no, i floating without direction, even i smile alot.

i'm 29 and i'm not succesful yet... i'm responsible for my family... and i have so many dreams. i stop floating and decide to landing, a painful one. it's make me hurt but also wake up... then i wrote a plan.

it's not a new sun, it's a journey to comeback... somehow, it's looks like a diversion.

* i need to start my own business immediately and it begin with learn more.

* i will scheduling my sport activity... and commit to that plan.

* i choose to be busy with anything positive... and hopely those things can make me very sleepy when night comes. i was an ammateur photographer, i played hockey and futsal, i read books etc

* i choose to make a new blog... which less romantic personal experience and bulshit

convincingly, all of that plan lead me to buy a new laptop. At least, the spec has to core 2 duo, because i need it for my photoshop and premiere workshop... it should be compatible with my ipod (nike-ipod also), it should be compact and it has to a newest generation therefore i shouldnt need to wory that it will be obsolete in a few years ahead...

and after a short hunting, the candidates shrink to these 3 laptops:

- sony vaio, VPC CW 25FG, core i3, 3Gb DDR3, 14" wide, windows 7 home
- toshiba, L510 P4017B, core i3, 2Gb DDR3, 14" wide, windows 7 home
- mac book pro, Core2 Duo, 2Gb DDR3, 13.3" wide,

hmmmm..... i need to wait until March or April for one of these :)

being single

being single giving you some privilage... to see everyone, to know everything, to explore more, to be naughty, to be free.
it should be fun...

...but when you reach (almost) 30, fun is not enough any more.

i'm not trying to say that i'm not happy. i do and i mean it. What i feel is a paradox. In one side i feel oke but at the other side i feel... incomplete. everything suddenly happen and, truly, it make my life shaking, become unsteady.

my journey are a book fills with melodramatic situation and many stupidity. i always smile when i read that book but inside i feel hurt. many chapters skinning my mistakes and immature actions. luckily, i found that it was a step that i should take to have proper wisdom.

to the past, thank you, you make me stronger.

meraih mimpi (jrocks)

very inspiring and give my dead mind some refreshment...
U know, in this situation, find our motivation and spirit back is very important
a good song is a good beginning...
cant wait to have it on my ipod

---------------------------------------

mari berlari meraih mimpi
menggapai langit yang tinggi
jalani hari dengan berani
tegaskan suara hati

kuatkan diri dan janganlah kau ragu
tak kan ada yang hentikan langkahmu

ya..ya..kita kan terus berlari
ya..ya..tak kan berhenti di sini
ya..ya..larilah meraih mimpi
ya..ya..hingga nafas tlah berhenti

ku akan bertahan
hadapi rintangan
perlahan-lahan dan menang
jalani hari dengan berani
tegaskan suara hati

be prepared for any change

a friend of mine are dizzy now. new structure in our department cornered him defenseless... many people depends their destiny to others by "licking" and doing too much politics. They spent most of time being a "yess man" without sharpening their knowledge and skill. It is a way but it isn't a long term one.

One thing i learn is we can always choose our side but the best side is be friendly to everyone. nothing immortal so always be prepared for any change...

resolution 2010

i never feel this blog as public media because no one read this blog except me... and sometime echi, so i decide to explore it as a journal, to reminds me about what i experience. this time, let take a while to see these photos:

(my desk when i was mt at domestic sales section)

(my desk when i was mt at dealer development section)

(my desk today)

can you see the difference? not too much? that's it.

since a year ago, i feel that my life is stuck somewhere... i do happy, i experienced many things that very wonderful but somehow i feel that i'm not progressive enough to reach my dream. before contamined with this office politics and busy schedule, i was... hmm... more than today.

so this is my 2010 resolution.

1. live healthy
basically it needs 4 things: sport regularly, eat responsibly, kick out the unnecessary stress and keep our heart peaceful. At least, sport twice a week. I plan to do iftness again and play basket or golf regularly... Eat responsibly is more challenging, hehehe...

2. saving
3. start a business

(to be continued)

thanks bro

Karena suatu hal, saya memutuskan untuk langsung pergi ke Bandung malam itu. pesawat dari Semarang delay 15 menit, terbang dalam cuaca tidak bersahabat dan macet di semanggi membuat saya sampai di kartika chandra pukul 19.50, sepuluh menit setelah mobil ke bandung berangkat. travel lain tidak ada yang punya keberangkatan ke bandung pada malam minggu, itu di luar trend kaum comutter yang biasanya keluar dari jakarta pada kamis dan jumat, aaaargh... dan setelah menarik nafas panjang saya putuskan untuk menunggu keberangkatan selanjutnya, 21.45 (jrek nong...)

Malam itu saya baru sampai dari semarang, tidak terlalu letih sih tapi ngantuknya itu bukan main. Agenda di semarang bener-bener padat, malem ajah masih meeting... tapi saya belum mau makan, antara males bergerak dengan sudah keganjel sama snack dari Garuda. Estimasi sampai di Bdg jam 12 malam jadi saya telp adik, ngasih tau kalo kakaknya jadi pulang... eh dia malah bersedia jemput, pake motor pula.

Ternyata estimasinya gak meleset, 00.01 sampai di Oncom Raos dan beberapa menit kemudian si adik jemput pake Mijojojo-nya Nissa. Bandung dingin bgt karena baru saja diguyur hujan, jaket saya terasa gak berarti... karena pengen buru-buru pulang ke rumah yang lagi kosong (karena ortu lagi di Tuban) kami beli nasgor deket rumah... baru bisa tidur jam 2 lewat...

Siangnya, bandung kembali hujan tapi kata mundur seperti mengkhianati tujuan saya datang ke bandung. Dianter si adik ke depan kompleks, menerobos hujan, naek angkot, kena macet dikit di IP dan kebun binatang... saya sampe di kampus dengan perasaan takjub, dia belum berubah. Kampus ini masih penuh kharisma... tampak angkuh di beberapa bagiannya tapi saya selalu mencintainya.

Setelah mampir di TVST bertemu qboy (yang laen lagi gak ada... hiks...) saya bergegas menuntaskan misi dengan penuh semangat. Waktu itu hujan sudah berhenti, kampus terasa syahdu dan puluhan orang tampak sudah lalu lalang di mana-mana, padahal itu hari Minggu.

Sayang sekali, tujuan saya tidak tercapai... Dengan lesu saya loncat ke angkot, bergegas kembali ke Kopo karena 2 jam lagi sudah janjian dengan si pong2 untuk kembali ke JKT. 90 menit yang hening... dan begitu sampai rumah saya baru sadar kalo ternyata perut saya belum diisi, hahahaha... parah amat yah sampe lupa makan. Kebetulan sebelah rumah ada tukang bakso yang uenaaak banget, terselamatkanlah jadwal dan perut saya...

setelah maghrib saya merenung sejenak, si adik kebetulan ngeliat jadi tanya... aah kebetulan, sekalian ajah saya mintai tolong buat bantuin ngurusin uncomplished mission :)

Saat itu, dalam hati, saya mengucap hamdalah...

thanks yah bro.

i'm a nasionalist. mostly, when something bad happens i look for positive side. it make me amused and also avoid me from unnecessary sadness... but yesterday, my heart was hurt and i became "not me".

yesterday, benny dolo's team faced Oman to keep the chance for asian cup appearence alive. actually there was only a small oportunity but it still worthed to fighting for. moreover, indonesia played in front of fourty thousand supporters whom came with great spirit to watch their beloved team, their beloved country... and I with my friends sit at VVIP seat with the same spirit.

and what we saw was dreadfully jokes! after a consolation goal from boaz, BP cs play like have no spirit. loosing ball easily, running everywheres without purpose and keep trying to crossing ball despite the towering oman's defender winning every chance... i keep watching the games just to satisfied my ego which said that the war is not over yet, bah...

at the end, when the referee ready to blow the whistle, a supporter came to the field... he crossed the field, dribbling the ball and try to score to Oman's goal. At that time i do realy wish that he success... but he failed and some late responsed police acted like a hero, henry mulyadi caught.

again, our national team failed... and this time my pride as a nationalist hurt.